Real Life Self Care Strategies for Working Single Moms

Ready for some real life self care strategies and tips that working single moms can really use? This post is not the usual “take a bubble bath” BS that’s really not helpful.

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How many times have you been asked what you like to do for self-care? This question has been coming up for me more often lately, and it pisses me off every time. I’m sorry. I know it’s asked from a place of good intentions, but as a working single mom it just highlights for me how hard it is to find time and money for what’s usualy considered “self-care”.

You know the stuff I mean. The mani/pedi, the massage, the spa day with your best girlfriends, or the long bubble bath. Typical advice for self care that doesn’t fit my life, at all.

I get pretty stressed out, but in other ways I know I must be taking at least moderately good care of myself since I rarely get sick, I’m able to laugh, I have a few good friends, and my kid is pretty happy. All good signs, right?

So I have been observing how I do self care and I’m going to share my tips with you in this post. This is a different way of looking at self care than what you usually hear. My intention is to give you real life strategies that are simple and in most cases cost nothing and take very little time.

You may not know this about me, but I am a certified health coach. From 2005-2011, I studied health and holistic wellness, and offered private and group coaching to busy women in NYC and around the world. I regularly wrote articles and led talks on nutrition, wellness and self care . In fact, I specialized in work/life balance for a number of those years.

Now I’m bringing that training and experience together to offer support for working single moms like you.

Why is self care necessary for working single moms?

There’s a quote that has stuck with me from my days as a health coach: “If you don’t make time for health, you’ll be forced to make time for illness”.

Now this isn’t a post about eating well, exercising and seeing your doctor for an annual physical. These self care strategies for working single moms relate more to reducing stress, in bite size pieces. Reducing stress is good for your heart, lowers your blood pressure, keeps your weight down, and just makes life better all around for both you and your children.

Showing yourself some self care as a single mom is a great way to model self love for your kids. It can also help energize you and keep your brain working well, which is good for your blog, business or career.

How do working single moms find time for self care?

Honestly, in most cases working single parents don’t find much time for ourselves. We have to make it, or fake it, or just wait for it.

If you have a custody arrangement with your ex, plan to use some of that time doing things you love. Don’t just spend the time working, cleaning or planning.

Schedule some of that time to have lunch with a friend, go to the gym or binge watch your favorite Netflix series. Whatever it is that makes you feel joy and abundance, put it on the calendar for those nights and weekends you get to yourself.

For us single moms who have the kids at home 24/7, we have to get much more creative and intentional about making time for self care.

I’m a single mom by choice. That means I chose to have my child without a partner, and in my case, used donor sperm to conceive my child. The plus side is there’s no custody battles, no conflict over parenting styles and no sharing my son with anyone else. The down side of course is that I get no breaks, no child support and no shared responsibility.

Self care for full time working single moms is quite the challenge, especially in the early years when the kids need everything done for them, all the time. Ask for help, say yes when a friend or family member offers to babysit and use that alone time to do something to take care of yourself.

How can a single mom live a happy life?

Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed all the time is no way to live. I’ve done it, and finally come out the other side feeling just slightly more in control of my life. Having choices is so empowering, so find, create and notice places in your life now where you do have a choice.

What can you say no to? What can you do differently to make your life easier?

Taking care of yourself, the most important person in your child’s life, is essential to being the strong successful single mom you want to be.

This post is full of simple self care strategies and tips for single moms that can come together as puzzle pieces, which can add up to good self care over the course of a day, a week, a lifetime.

13 Simple Self Care Strategies for Working Single Moms

The best self care strategy for working single moms is going to require piecing together moments of being intentional, not necessarily finding hours at a time to dedicate to yourself. From simple, free tips you can incorporate into your every day, to resources that help you create more time and money, this list is going to get you feeling more self love and less stress.

Enjoy that cup of coffee

When you get a chance to have a hot cup of coffee or tea, stop and enjoy it. Take even just 5 minutes to really smell it, feel the warmth of the mug in your hands and sip it slowly. Put down the phone, look away from your computer screen, and don’t even chit chat with a coworker. Savor that hot cup of morning or afternoon energy and feel it surge through you.

As a work from home mom, I’ve trained my son to know that mama has to finish her coffee before I’m going to do anything with him. Sure, he bugs me for attention through most of the cup, but I get to savor the first few sips at least.

Cue the single mom cuddles

As the mom of a cuddly boy and cats (x3) I am frequently covered in cuddles of the boy or fur baby variety. Yes, it can be suffocating and annoying at times. Other times, I still work on my phone or laptop while I let everyone soak up their mama cuddles.

Self care comes when I put everything down and intentionally be present with the cuddles. I let the feelings of love wash over me and am grateful for the healing touch.

I’ve been single most of my life, and I remember missing human touch between boyfriends. My son has always been a cuddler and I know as he gets older, that will change. I’ll still have kitties to cuddle, but not always my boy, so I stop to really soak it in at least once a day, and always at bedtime.

I bring awareness to the release of oxytocin flooding my brain and the great benefits I get. A good cuddle boosts your immune system, lowers blood pressure and helps you sleep better. Obviously it also helps you bond with your children, and pets, even better.

Take a deep breath

Ready for a quick mini spa day? Or rather, spa moment? Stop what you’re doing, close your eyes and take a deep belly breath. Do it as many times as you have time for, though even just once is healing self care. As you take deep breaths, think of something you are grateful for. It may be your children, your income, the blue sky, your favorite pastry, anything.

It doesn’t matter what your mind lands on, as long as the feelings of gratitude bring a moment of joy. You can’t do this wrong. Deep belly breathing is a quick and easy self care strategy for working single moms, that you can do anywhere.

Healing water for mind and body

This is the easiest and most basic self care for working single moms strategy on this list. Drink more water. It’s so easy to forget to drink enough water and the negative side effects are many. When you don’t drink enough water, you become dehydrated. Being dehydrated makes you more irritable, more forgetful, and more fatigued. You’re more likely to put on unwanted weight, eat more junk food and drink too much caffeine.

Upping your daily water intake will help you feel more energized, have clearer skin, and improve your moods. Drinking water improves digestion, reduces muscle pain and pumps up your immune system too.

Get yourself a pretty water bottle you love looking at. Keep it with you in the office, or at your desk at home. Let water be the first thing in your mouth every morning and the last thing every night.

Water is so important for kids too, so you’ll be modeling good behavior as you’re sipping. Bonus.

The amount you should drink every day varies from person to person, but aim for 8-12 cups per day. More if you exercise vigorously or it’s a hot day. Pregnant and nursing moms need even more water.

Here are some fun choices of water bottles with time markers, to keep you motivated. They’re all highly rated on Amazon and come in assorted colors:

Turn the music up

Especially in the harder early years, one of my favorite times of day was after I dropped my son off at daycare or a sitter’s house, and drove away blasting my favorite music. Now he’s in a learning pod that’s a 25 minute drive from home. I had these lofty plans of listening to audiobooks and podcasts to “be productive” but I realized quickly that skipping my driving-with-loud-music time would be a terrible idea. That’s one of my top sources of self-care.

Maybe for you it would be a favorite audiobook or podcast while you’re driving. Try out different things, even total silence, when you have the chance to drive or commute by public transportation alone. That is a prime opportunity for free and easy self care, by audio.

Let nature do its job

Like water, putting nature to work for you is an easy and free form of self care. It could mean buying more indoor plants, taking more walks outdoors, starting an herb garden or sitting on the beach. I find even just stopping what I’m doing to look out the window at the trees feels healing. The longer I look the more likely I’ll see a few different kinds of birds or deer, or notice the clouds moving by.

Grounding in nature is very empowering and energizing. The best way to ground is to stand barefoot in the grass or dirt. Even with shoes on though, standing in nature mindfully is good for the soul. I find just getting off my chair to stand up in my living room, feet planted strongly shoulder width apart, head up, and hands on my hips, can be very empowering.

For you, this might be doing a warrior yoga pose, feeling into Wonder Woman energy, or just channeling Dr. Amelia Shepherd as she prepares for surgery (where are my Grey’s fans?).

Get your feet on the ground with intention and notice how the power shifts in your body.

Time to go shopping

OK, this isn’t the usual “retail therapy” tip. While I’m not exactly a minimalist, I do lean more towards that ideal than excess when it comes to how much stuff I want in my house. I’ve never been a big shopper, so it’s not my go-to for self care.

That said, when I have the funds for it, I think long and hard about what to spend my money on that will give me the most caring result I can get. I’m more likely to buy a new mattress topper for my bed than clothes. Or high quality essential oils and supplements, than jewelry.

When money’s tight, I don’t spend on myself at all. So when I do, I make sure it’s going to serve me well long-term.

As a work at home single mom blogger, I like to invest in my business and my home office space. I’ll spend money on a new course or premium plugin, or get a pretty pink desk chair, rather than getting a facial.

If you’re up for a mom blogger shopping spree, head over to my Gifts for Work at Home Mom Bloggers: The Ultimate Guide.

If you want to show your blog some love, check out my Favorite Resources for Bloggers in 2021 (Including FREE ones!).

Clean it, move it, rest it

If you’ve read this far, you may have picked up on a theme. For working single moms, self care doesn’t require large chunks of time or expensive treatments. Instead it’s the little moments of time where you bring the intention of self care to your heart and mind.

With intention, taking a shower, cleaning the dishes, walking outside with the garbage (and stopping on the way back to take a breath of fresh air) can all be slices of self care. I remember many a long, hard night getting my baby boy to sleep. Afterwards, I would sometimes step outside and look up at the stars and just breathe. It was these minuscule moments of mommy care that kept me going through the hardest years.

It’s all about the intention. If you look at it through the lens of self-care, self-love and self-preservation, you’ll find many small opportunities to take good care of yourself. Sure, it’s not the same as getting a whole day off to do whatever you want, but it adds up. Simple real life self care is essential for working single mom life success.

Get creative with or without the kids

Crafting and creating are not my go-to either (see shopping). If you have a love for knitting, scrapbooking or photography, make time for them, even if it’s just a few minutes together.

My son likes to draw, color and build with Legos or Lincoln Logs. He always wants me to play with him, but of course I usually don’t have the time. Occasionally though I’ll give in, and it surprises me how soothing it is.

We took the time at the start of the year to create vision boards together and it was a lot of fun. It also has the long term effect of keeping me clear on my goals and having something inspiring to look at.

You can get creative as a blogger too of course. Take your own pictures instead of using stock photos sometimes, play with Canva to create graphics for social media and load up Pinterest with fun new pins.

Read Best Social Media for Bloggers to Grow Traffic and Make Money

Create intentionally and let the joy fill you. Whether it’s trying a new recipe, decorating cookies or an inspirational coloring book, find places in your life to get creative.

Create connections

Single mom life can be so isolating. Work at home life too. No matter what kind of working mom you are, connections with other moms is so important. If you’re a mom blogger or business builder join my exclusive Facebook group.

Search Facebook groups for other ones that match your interests. There are groups for everything from gardening, to homeschooling Faith-based to home decorating. Search locally as well for mom groups. Join a few you’re drawn to and start participating.

I’m really having fun networking and making new connections on the Clubhouse app. Clubhouse is an audio-only app where conversations happen in real-time. I’ve listened in on conversations about passive income for single moms, knowing your human design and energy clearing visualizations.

I’ve hosted and co-hosted rooms on email marketing, creating digital products and building sales funnels.

Whether you use it for business building or just personal connections, Clubhouse is popular for a reason. We’re all seeking more connections, and the Clubhouse app makes it come to life in real time, without the need to prep for being on camera.

The Clubhouse app is only available for iOS as it’s still in beta. It’s free to download so grab it now if you’ve got an iPhone or iPad. The Android release is coming in the Spring.

Follow me @heathercottrell and hit the notification bell to “Always” so you’ll know when I’m hosting or co-hosting a room for mom bloggers and business builders. I also recommend following the Womxn in Business club for great content.

Day or night, there’s always a conversation going on you can listen to or join in and feel connected.

Make more time as a working single mom

If you’re a mom blogger, there are many ways to automate, schedule and use systems to create more time in your day. In another post, I share the tools I use to save me hours every week so I can sleep or take time off, and still earn money.

SocialBee is my favorite and you’ll find more tips when you read 5 Ways to Prepare Your Blog for Holidays (and Keep Growing).

I also take advantage of the many conveniences available to us moms these days. I get snacks, cat food, vitamins and household staples delivered at a discount every month with Amazon Subscribe and Save.

Kitty Poo Club brings me fresh litter boxes every month, that I recycle after use. With three cats, this is a huge help.

I never set foot inside a grocery store and instead order ahead and pickup (for free) from Walmart once a week. That alone saves me hours and I wish it was an option when my son was younger!

I also have water delivered monthly for my water cooler.

Make more money for more self-care

Finances can often be an obstacle to self-care. Most of the strategies on this list are free, but if more money would make self care easier (it sure does for me) these tips are for you.

In the previous section I mentioned some ways to save time, but with Amazon Subscribe & Save, I also save up to 15% on the things I buy. Walmart prices also save me a ton. I’d rather shop at my local health food store, but until my income doubles (which I’m working on) I have to stick with the evil giants, Amazon and Walmart, to feed my son and I.

For example, my son and his friends love Nature’s Bakery Whole Wheat Fig Bars. My friend shared a box with the kids recently, and I had a glance at the price tag. The 5-pack she bought at the local health food store was about $5. I told her I get the 12-pack on Amazon for about the same price (and of course, she made the switch)! That’s more than $5 saved per box.

Another way I save money is using browser extensions like Rakuten when I shop online. I also get money back on most of these purchases with phone apps like Fetch Rewards and Dosh. That cash back goes right back into the grocery budget, and I even use a free Amazon gift card occasionally for a self-care purchase.

Read 10 Best Apps to Save Money as a Single Mom (and Get Cash Back!)

Saving money is great, but what about making more money? Moms everywhere are starting side hustles and even replacing their full time incomes.

Making some side gig money may let you reduce hours at the day job, or give you some play money for self-care and time off. If you have something to teach, have a look at Outschool where moms like you are making $50/hour leading small classes from home on all sorts of topics.

Here are some other great side gigs for single moms:

• Freelance writing
• Proofreading
• Selling stuff on Etsy
• Transcribing
• Bookkeeping
• Tutoring
• Graphic design

My favorite side hustle for single moms, which can earn a full time income over time, is blogging. If you want to learn how to get started read Start a Blog the Right Way in 2021: Easy 7 Step Guide.

Beyond the massage

OK, it’s time for a mention of the usual self-care advice. If you have the time, money and childcare available, go get yourself a facial, manicure/pedicure or a massage when you can. Personally, those things never give me the self-care hit I need though. Your results may vary.

There are many other alternatives in the self-care treatment category that you might want to try! Here are some you can look into:

• acupuncture treatment
• chiropractic adjustment
• float therapy
• chair massage (my preference over table massage)
• shamanic healing session
• craniosacral therapy
• tarot card reading
• sound healing
• attending a woman’s circle
• yoga and meditation class
• Reiki healing session
• aromatherapy
• visit a salt cave

How do you make time for self care as a single working mom?

What works for you? What are your go-to’s for self care? Did this post give you any good ideas you will try? Please share your best tips, questions or comments below.

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• 10 Best Apps to Save Money as a Single Mom (and Get Cash Back!)